Insane dating profiles

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Contents:
  1. 1. Jake’s Invitation to a Candlelit Car Ride
  2. www.thetalko.com
  3. 15 Insane Dating Profiles From People You Might Want to Avoid - FAIL Blog - Funny Fails

What more do we need to know? What are your hobbies? What is your career? Do you like long walks on the beach? The cute, freckled, girl-next-door look is ruined by two things. First, calling your parents names is a no-no. That screams of family issues and that can get your profile overlooked faster than promising to not murder your dates which you think would be a good thing or promising to save their souls see both examples above. Putting an apple in your mouth is reminiscent of the succulent roasted pig appreciated at cookouts, and honey, you deserve so much more than that comparison.

Clearly, you are cute and have a sense of humor, so show your true self. A couple of years ago, a story floated around the Internet about a woman that set up a profile just so she could eat at fancy restaurants and have her date pick up the tab. Stories also abound about men that date beautiful women, but turn out to be nothing but dine-and-dashers, leaving their date with nothing but disgust and a huge restaurant tab. Rachel is not this type of girl. Inexplicably , Conspiracy Man went for most of his life without the carnal knowledge of a member of the opposite gender.

ROASTING STRANGERS DATING PROFILES

It can be tough to find a mate when most of what you believe flies in the face of generally accepted, scientifically proven, peer-reviewed, facts. Very much out there. How will this date take place? Here we have a prime example of what NOT to do when setting up your profile. If you are on an online dating site, you are already sending a very clear message that you are in the market for a girlfriend or boyfriend.

Lonely Eric seems to have missed this point and has completely overstepped the line between looking for a date and looking like a dude that is going to cling to you like superglue. Begging for a date is never a good idea and his profile gives zero hints about his personality, likes and hobbies. The desperation in this profile is sad. Take some photos of yourself doing the things you love, like playing fetch with your cute puppy.


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Well, what have we here? Oh, be still my beating heart! Of course it could! Ladies, you have to change to get with this hot slab of man meat. How is it even possible that this pensive Romeo is single at 39? Who could resist the heap of lying douchebaggary that this profile presents? Jake is so random and unflappable that you are assured of a good time. His dates are so, like, totally intense, you know? He demonstrates a remarkable lack of concern for your safety by romantically putting candles in his Kia.

1. Jake’s Invitation to a Candlelit Car Ride

Is this man confusing or is he just confused? Several things are off-putting here even before we get to the dubious mess that is his profile answers. His words, not mine. Is he dreaming of shooting women or women shooting things? We will never know because in addition to those two words packing a big punch of nope, there is the question of why this shadowy lurker has no teeth. If it was an accident, an explanation would be very useful here. What in the name of a hot mess do we have going on here? Okay, if Lotje is homeless, we are not going to poke fun.

You want to contact her so you can learn her story. Ok, cool -- to each their own. If this photo is adequately depicting the personalities of these performers, they have nailed it.

www.thetalko.com

Rubber chicken checking out chicken painting? In a sea of dubious profiles, this one gets all the points for transparency and creativity. Again, honesty is not always the best policy because with this terrible profile description, we have no idea if Tom is trying to be funny or if he really is this much of a bully. The worst thing about this, though, is the 70 percent match he found with someone. Evidence suggests this type of photo is very attractive to online daters.

More Photoshops

On the surface, Taylor seems like a normal year-old man with a well-kept beard and friendly smile. Taylor wears his memorable ladybug shirt on all his first dates with OkCupid women. His creativity pays off when looking for a date. Taylor is doing something really right in his innovative photo sessions. When Becky joined Tinder, she dove right in. For her profile picture, Becky chose a shot of her up to her neck in colorful plastic balls.


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  • Talk about a conversation starter. Hilarious, with just a hint of innuendo, Becky definitely makes an impression on the singles of Tinder. The year-old dater is definitely in on the joke and inviting some raunchy conversation starters with her funny dating profile. His perfect match has alliteration in her name, and his ideal date is anything not involving Kryptonite.

    No word on whether Lois Lane has a profile of her own yet. I have to let her Tinder profile speak for itself.


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    • Take it away, Sydney:. Sydney makes them boys go loco. Some users just want to be left alone while they wait for an imaginary perfect match to fall in their inboxes. Or even some of them. Savanah, age 22, is a mystery wrapped in an enigma. Her picture shows her leaning against the railing of a bridge with sunglasses covering her eyes. She looks pretty but nondescript. Not a lot of skin showing and no clues to her personality. Her About section is a little more informative , but not in the way most daters want.

      When setting up his Tinder profile, Reid went above and beyond the call of duty.

      With a hilarious profile picture, Reid makes his profile stand out on Tinder. The result is a comical portrayal of himself carrying puppies out of a burning animal shelter. Hey, if you have a genuine six-pack or the ability to photoshop one , Tinder users deserve to know. What I enjoy most about Reid in this picture is his look of sincerity.

      15 Insane Dating Profiles From People You Might Want to Avoid - FAIL Blog - Funny Fails

      I imagine a lot of girls swipe right on him. Pictures on Tinder are extremely important for a first impression, so kudos to Reid on sending a positive, original, and funny vibe to date prospects on the app. This anonymous OkCupid user, featured by Buzzfeed , already had our attention with his oh-so-original shirtless bathroom selfie.